I was set up with Long Distance Girl through a mutual friend. It was a 2 1/2 hour drive to go on a date with her, but my friend thought we’d be really compatible, so I went.
We met for drinks, and conversation flowed easy most of the night. It was exciting and I could definitely picture myself on a second date with her. I didn’t feel the magic I look for, but we got along well enough that I hoped for more. At one point towards the end of the night, I said to her, “if this were to work out, we’d be in a long distance relationship. Have you ever had one of those?”
There would be no second date. I asked our mutual friend what happened and as it turns out, that statement is what killed it for me. That statement made her feel like I was “rushing” the relationship or something. I stress to you the word “if.” I put that word in italics from the original quote for a reason. I was simply pontificating on the situation. And while I was excited about this girl, that statement was not me expressing my feeling of wanting to marry this girl.
I’m an observer of human nature, of the world around me, and of the situations I’m in. I like to comment on these observations. I like to hear other people’s opinions on the observations I make. I find nothing wrong with this. My friend sided with the girl here and no matter how I explained this, she just couldn’t grasp my side of it. Maybe it’s a girl thing, because my guy friends agree with me.
At the end of the day though, it was her loss. I also think she may have done me a huge favor because she allowed me to dodge a bullet. What kind of person completely writes someone off for such a meaningless statement? I mean, even if it wasn’t a misunderstanding on her part, who really cares? If I really meant what she thought I meant, she could’ve still gone on a second date to find out if her feelings could match the ones she thought I had.
On the flip side, if things did work out with this girl, can you imagine the arguments we would’ve had? I say enough weird things intentionally, so to be held responsible for misunderstandings on top of that? Yup, definitely dodged a bullet with that one. FYI: This girl is still single years later.