Any guy who has been friend zoned or who falls under the “nice guy” category has, at some point, heard the phrase “I just don’t see you that way” uttered to him at some point. If this was simply a story of one of the times I heard that phrase, it would bore you to death. Nope, it’s gotta have a twist. The twist here is that in this story, it was said to me from an actual girlfriend.

This was back in early high school, and I was in what seemed like a good relationship. We were a good couple, and she became the second set of boobies I would have the pleasure of touching. Much bigger than the first set, which was a big deal at that age. About two months in, I started to want more…as any hormone laden teen would want. So I began pressing for it, always to be turned down.

Still, we continued dating and all was still good. I began to suspect she may have liked having a boyfriend more so than having me as a boyfriend. She loved all the couples activities and the group dates. Her best friend was dating my best friend and all was happy in the universe for her. But me, well, I just wanted to have some sex.

Three months into our relationship, we still had not had sex and I was getting a bit aggravated. This was a different generation though, and it wasn’t expected that nudes be traded before you ever meet, sex on the first or second date (if there’s even an actual date) like today’s generation…at least this is the possibly crazy impression I have of “kids these days” in my head.

I called her one night for one of our regular long conversations and began to pester her about wanting to have sex. I got the same responses I had been getting, so decided to change my approach. I asked her when she though she’d be ready, and what she was waiting on. This is when I heard that fun phrase, “I just don’t see you that way.”

This is a phrase you hear from girls that don’t want to date you. Or from a friend who can’t picture being anything more. This is not something you expect to hear from someone you are already dating. From someone whose boobs you’ve felt many times, who you make out with on a regular basis. To hear this from the girl you’re dating is crazy.

I stuck with it for a few more weeks after that just in case, but it all became hopeless for me. I couldn’t get it out of my head that she didn’t see me that way, so what was the point? The next guy she dated, she definitely “saw that way” because it only took her two months to get there with him. It felt like a kick to the stomach when I was already down.


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